25 Years of Coaching

What showing up over time teaches

This year, I celebrate 25 years of coaching! I welcome this milestone and reflect on years of memories and learnings, connecting presence, discipline, and resilience through integrative coaching practices. I began on the cold slopes of New Hampshire, coaching J6s- the youngest ski racers. I was lucky enough that this, my first job ever involved doing what I loved: being outdoors, on snow, crisp air on my skin, connecting with other people.

At that age, coaching isn’t about correction. It’s about presence.

My wonderful early coaches taught me three foundational truths that still guide my work today:

• The power of thought

• The discipline of presence

• The decision to keep showing up

  
  

The J6s taught me something just as important. If you want someone to learn, you have to meet them where they are. Complex skills had to become games. Language had to resonate with a six-year-old brain & nervous system. Learning had to feel safe and fun enough to try.

That principle of translating complexity into something usable has followed me through every phase of my career.

Discipline, before it was fashionable

At the same time, I was still competing myself.

Ski racing. Lacrosse. Daily training.

Goalie skills. Conditioning. Strength work.

Recovery.

My teenage years were structured, repetitive,

and often unglamorous. What I learned during this time was:

focus & success aren't intensity;

they are consistency.

These skills from the slopes led me to lacrosse fields around the world.

Youth athletes. Collegiate players. International competition. And Professionals.

Elite performance environments where pressure is not hypothetical, it’s guaranteed.

Adversity wasn’t a possibility. It was part of the deal.

Expanding the lens

As my coaching matured, I deepened my attending skills through years of education in clinical psychology, community mental health, somatic practices, and behavior science.

My work brought me into schools and universities, refugee relocation programs, community mental health centers, clinical settings, and private organizations, supporting leaders and individuals from over 100 countries.

Each setting taught me something different about regulation, energy, and what people actually need to feel safe enough to grow—a core part of SEELEDU’s integrative coaching philosophy.

Different contexts. Different cultures. Same truth: People need to be understood, supported, and skillfully guided.

Lessons 25 Years of Coaching Have Taught Me

These lessons didn’t arrive all at once.

Most were learned slowly, through repetition, mistakes, and refinement.

In no particular order:

1. Hope is not a strategy. Preparation is.

Average performers show up and hope.Elite performers arrive with a plan.

They know:

• what to do when nerves rise

• how to respond after a mistake

• how to regulate energy before performance

  
  

Preparation is not just physical. It’s neurological, emotional, and behavioral.

2. Adversity is coming. Train for it.

I didn’t know then how often I’d return to this lesson in different forms, with different people. Difficulty and hardship is coming and inevitable, are you ready for it? 

What do you do when things don’t go your way? When you make four mistakes in a day? When effort doesn’t immediately pay off?

Elite athletes know adversity is part of the process. Life is no different.

If you don’t develop the mental and emotional capacity to meet yourself, you’ll eventually plateau or quit.

3. Control what is controllable.

The most powerful performance question is simple:

What can I control today?

Routine matters.Nutrition matters. Rest matters. Recovery matters.

Success in sport and life is built in the unobserved hours. Getting extra repetition without external pressure. Eating well when no one is watching. Completing effort and allowing real rest.

This is not discipline for discipline’s sake. It’s coherence & mastery in development. 

4. It is hard…and that’s not a problem.

Life is hard. It’s brutal sometimes. Training is hard. Building something meaningful is hard.

When you accept that difficulty is part of the path, you stop negotiating with it.

You don’t need to be the best. You don’t need to be special. You need to be consistent.

5. Outcomes distract. Process builds.

Chasing outcomes pulls attention away from the only thing that actually creates them: process.

When focus stays on the next right action, progress becomes inevitable.

6. Nerves are not a confidence problem.

Feeling nervous doesn’t mean you’re unprepared.

When something matters, your nervous system turns up the volume. Focus sharpens. Energy rises. Heart rate increases.

That’s not weakness it’s readiness.

Confidence doesn’t disappear when nerves appear. Panic begins when you tell yourself they shouldn’t coexist.

Elite performers accept nerves as part of the process and learn how to work with them. 

Focus, preparation, and attention to energy are all central to embodied integrative coaching, helping people perform under pressure without burning out.

7. Reset speed is a life skill.

Goalie world taught me this better than anything else.

Mistakes happen. What matters is how fast you let them go.

The best performers have reset rituals:

• What matters now?

  
  

• What’s the next action?

  
  

Rumination keeps the stress response alive. Resetting brings you back to presence.

8. Sometimes your best effort still ends in loss.

More hard lessons from goalie world. You can prepare well. Show up fully. Compete with integrity…and still lose.

Loss doesn’t define you.The habits you build afterward do.

9. Acceptance is a framework, not resignation.

Know what you’re like at your best.

When a mistake happens, return to those behaviors. Shift focus and the nervous system follows.

10. You might not be doing it wrong.

You might just be in the part that makes most people quit.

This is where decent becomes good, and good becomes great.

11. Learn how to be the backup.

Being a backup is one of the hardest roles in sports - and life.

You prepare without guarantees. You stay confident and alert without constant feedback.

You support someone in the role you want.

That’s maturity. And leadership.

12. Positive reinforcement builds resilient systems.

Precision and confrontation don’t sustain people long-term.

Healthy teams and cultures are built on human motivation, respect, and reinforcement.

13. People want to be treated like people.

Not assets. Not resources. Not disposable.

Just people.

Why this matters now

After 25 years, I’ve learned this:

Growth isn’t loud. Mastery isn’t rushed. And sustainable performance is built slowly, with care.

That is the work I do…quietly, deliberately, and with respect for the long game, using integrative coaching principles to build sustainable performance.

Coaching Reflection Questions

• Where in my life am I "hoping" instead of preparing?

• What part of my routine actually supports my nervous system?

• How fast do I reset after a mistake?

• What am I trying to control that isn’t mine to manage?

• What season of effort am I in? Am I honoring it?

• Where am I in the “hard part” most people quit?
  

Author: Justine Ferland

 Justine Ferland is a psychologist, educator, and integrative health and wellbeing coach with over two decades of experience supporting people in building resilience, sustainable performance, and grounded daily practices. Through SEELEDU, she works at the intersection of lifestyle medicine, somatic awareness, and applied psychology-helping individuals strengthen presence, energy, and clarity in real life, not just in theory.